Parenting

Discipleship is complex, because people are complex. It's like parenting. I knew that, even before becoming a parent. I knew that disciples were my kids.  But after having a child, it's clearer. Your disciples swell your heart with happiness and a good kind of pride when they take their shaky, but amazing, steps of faith. Your disciples worry you when they enter seasons of doubt or depression. You hurt for them when they face temptation. You rejoice for them, and breathe a sigh of relief, when they fight off that temptation, and yes, then you sleep better at night. You see choices they are making that you wish they wouldn't, but sometimes...they just won't take your word for it. They have to learn things themselves. And sometimes we agonize over how to "raise" them. We blame ourselves sometimes, for the weaknesses we see in them, and that hurts. What do we instill in them, exactly? Distill our faith to its essences, and what is most important? It is this that we hope we have passed on. We are always trying to get in one more lesson, connect them to one more Christian that might help mentor them, emphasize one more scripture.

Like with parenting, there are opportunities for giddy joy. We felt like we couldn't stop smiling the day that our disciple, Wang Hao, met and was encouraged by one of the Taylors' disciples, Derek. Wang Hao's victories are ours. We also felt such a sense of satisfaction when he decided, of his own accord, to attend a Christian retreat in Shanghai, and came away refreshed and strengthened.

The highs and lows can be roller-coaster-like, but God's truth reassures us that it is He who called them in the first place. It is He who cleansed them and instilled His own Spirit in them. He loves each precious one He calls more than we have the capacity to. He can and does minister to their hearts. If I am taken from this earth, even, their relationship with Him is something eternal. It exists apart from me, and is maintained by God, thank God.

What a blessing it has been to serve God in His ministry to the Chinese. And what a joy to know that when my plane takes off in 20 days, God will still be doing His work in countless big and small ways in China.